Ottawa Pickpockets Alberta’s Resources
Price range: $17.00 through $24.00
The details
In the flickering neon glow of a 1950s diner somewhere between Calgary and the capital, two figures locked eyes across a Formica table sticky with maple syrup and unresolved federalism. She was Alberta, all oil-slick curls and a purse that used to jingle with resource royalties. He was Ottawa, grin wider than a Senate expense claim, suit so sharp it could slice a transfer payment in half.
“Evening, partner,” he drawled, tipping an invisible hat while his fingers already danced toward her wallet. “Just a friendly interprovincial contribution. Think of it as… nation-building with benefits.”
Before she could protest, the cash was gone—vanished into the void where equalization formulas go to multiply. The diner’s jukebox hiccuped into a jaunty tune about pipelines and pickpockets, and the oversized letters above the booth lit up like a comic-book punchline: OTTAWA PICKPOCKETS ALBERTA’S RESOURCES. She sighed, adjusted her vintage hat, and muttered, “At least the artwork’s sharp.” Somewhere in the back, a cartoon raccoon in a Mountie hat chuckled and ordered another round of black coffee, blacker than the federal surplus that never quite made it west.
